Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Why I Keep Clicking

(I am attempting to post this via a new method. Bear with my while I figure
things out! Thank you!)

I am having a bit of a dilemma. I keep telling myself that I should stop
looking at these dating sties and stop wondering when I am going to meet
someone and just BE for a while. Because, really, I'm not having much
luck. And, really, when it comes right down to it I'm not sure I'm ready
for that.

And yet...

Each night I click into a website and feel excitement any time there are new
messages in my inbox. And when a particularly GOOD message shows up, well,
then I hope that maybe things could be on the upswing. So far, nothing has
panned out and that is okay. I have met wonderful people and this not so
wonderful people I have met have helped me clarify what it is I am looking
for and what I am NOT looking for. There have been some - very few - close
calls (for lack of a better term) but things just didn't work out.

Many counsel me not to jump into things or counsel me to patience. And I
try to take their advice. The Miss B, though, is not a solitary creature.
And although I am appreciative of this time I have right now to be along and
delve into my self again, it still feels very unnatural.

So, even though I tell myself I should give it a rest, I keep clicking,
emailing, chatting up cute strangers int eh grocery store, smilte at the
nice man at the gas station etc etc because MY vision for my life includes a
partner, a family, a clan and friends all flowing in and out of "home and
while I don't know the "how" of achieving it, I do know I don't want to miss
the opportunity when it presents itself.

You create your opportunities by asking for them
-Shakti Gawain

Release any expectations you may have of how you think your dreams will
come true, Barbara, but by all means, with every fiber of your being, expect
that they will, as you busy yourself enjoying who and where you already
are.

-Notes from the Universe

1 comment:

  1. There was once a girl I knew that had devised a rule about never dating guys with kids. I commented on her blog that while this may lead to a simpler life - especially since she had no plans to have her own - there was a chance she may miss out on something special. Something wonderful. Me for example ;-)

    So we started dating, and have been together for almost 10 months. I understand that she has never been in a relationship for more than two years, and I am hoping I am the one who who breaks that record. I believe I can do it.

    The point is, you never know what is around the corner. You can argue with yourself that you are not ready for another relationship - but how do we determine that? Just because you can't afford the dress in the shop window does it mean you should stop looking at it. Perhaps one day it will be on sale! Imagine missing out on that!

    I say make the most of what you have now, continue to smile at the gas station man, let the messages in your email box excite you, but don't let being single get you down.

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